Бих искала да ви споделя един от любимите си разкази.
Както любимите ми филми, така и любимите ми разкази, за добро или зло, си остават все едни и същи…просто с годините съм способна да погледна от различни гледни точки:
„Белият стол нямаше облегало, усещах целия си гръб изтръпнал. Бях стоял тук повече от час и през цялото време той нито веднъж не помръдна в тясното си легло. Може би затова чаршафите му бяха така гладки, сякаш в тях лежеше не човек, а труп.
— Няма смисъл — каза той уморено. — Няма никакъв смисъл в цялата тая история…
Исках да му възразя, но усещах, че нямам сили. Той помълча малко, после продължи без никаква връзка:
— Всичко, което наричаме субективен живот, е всъщност нещо съвсем нереално… Както са нереални облаците, отразени в гладкото езеро. Ако езерото се развълнува и отражението изчезне, това не означава, че са изчезнали и самите облаци… Всичко, което се е случило на неговата повърхност, е смърт без значение…
— И все пак трябва да се живее — отвърнах аз безсмислено.
— Защо?
— Защото така е естествено…
— Сигурно си прав! — отвърна той колебливо. — Естествено, но безрадостно. Излизаш от нищо, съществуваш и се превръщаш отново в нищо… Друго е, разбира се, ако пристигаше до някаква цел, в която да се осъществи собственият ти смисъл…
Аз замълчах. Голямата бяла стая бавно потъмня, някъде в далечината се чу тътен. Само неговото лице си остана все тъй бяло, с чисти, гладко обръснати бузи, с трепкащи ръждиви клепачи. Той погледна към прозореца и каза тихо:
— Идва буря, трябва да си вървиш…
— Нищо — отвърнах аз. — С кола съм, няма значение…
— Не, не — върви… Пътят ще стане хлъзгав, опасно е…
Наистина като че ли нямаше смисъл да стопя вече и малкото, което с толкова труд бях изградил. Станах и храбро му протегнах ръка, но той се усмихна посърнало и не подаде своята.
— Върви, върви!…
Доктор Веселинов беше в кабинета си, наведен над своите рентгенови снимки. Тая, която държеше в ръката си, кой знае защо, ми напомни на далечна, разсеяна в черния мрак, галактика.
— Има ли напредък? — попита той, без да повдига глава.
— Мисля, че има — отвърнах аз несигурно.
— В края на краищата трябва някак си да го убедите — каза той. — Операцията е все пак някакъв шанс. Макар и нищожен!…
— Да знам — казах аз.
Едва сега той се поизправи и ме погледна със своите странни очи с цвят на зехтин…
— Сега разчитам само на вас… За негова собствена воля не бива да се говори…
Излязох навън с душа, натежала от болнични миризми и тревоги. Над дефилето наистина се бяха надвесили черни буреносни облаци, но тогава не им обърнах внимание. Къси, нервни вихрушки танцуваха по циментовия двор и заливаха с прахоляци колата ми. Тъкмо потеглих, и закапаха първите капки — едри и силни като летящи куршуми. Едва тогава ми мина през ума, че гумите ми са съвсем изтъркани. Не се тревожех особено — така отпаднал и угнетен се чувствувах след тежкия разговор. Изтеглих колата на заден ход и бавно запъплах по стръмнината.
Бурята ме завари още в първите километри. Беше позакъсняла септемврийска буря, но пълна с грохот и трясъци. Върху предното стъкло се заизливаха такива потоци вода, че се принудих да спра. Отбих внимателно колата на червеникавия банкет и угасих мотора. Дъждът все тъй плющеше, трясъците следваха един след друг. Познавах тия бури в кънтящото искърско дефиле, някога ги обичах. И все пак бях направил добре, че спрях. По асфалта течеше като река черна искряща вода, която от време на време блясваше с мъртвото отражение на мълниите. Оттатък асфалта, без никаква преграда, идваше червената, дъхаща на изпарения пропаст. От мястото си не виждах нейното дъно, но бях сигурен, че там колата ми не би изглеждала по-голяма от детска играчка.
Отворих страничното стъкло и се поотместих от кормилото, за да не ме пръска дъждът. После запалих цигара и се облегнах назад. Чувствувах се много гадно в тоя момент, мисълта за смъртта не ме напускаше. Той се беше примирил с нея и това беше най-страшното. Никак не разбирах какво значи това — да се примириш със смъртта, — нито пък можех да го усетя. Дрехите ми все още издаваха противната миризма на санаториума, чувствувах, че ми се гади. А какво би станало, ако тръгнех внезапно направо към пропастта? Всеки би нарекъл това безумие. А тогава защо да не е безумие всичко, което вършим в своето съществуване? Ето това е може би, което има в душата си моят приятел. Рамената ми леко потрепераха и аз побързах да затворя стъклото.
Най-после бурята като че ли попремина. Все още валеше — слаб дъжд, носен от вятъра, мътен и сив. Отново запалих мотора. Там някъде далече на запад в гъстата маса на облаците навярно се беше отворило малко прозорче, защото асфалтът порозовя. Потеглих бавно по стръмнината, след това постепенно усилих хода. В тоя момент съвсем бях забравил моите гуми, които така приятно свистяха по наводнения асфалт. Розовината още повече се усили, червеникави изглеждаха дори ниските брезови горички, които растяха по планинския склон.
Не бях изминал може би и два километра, когато за пръв път видях човека. Зърнах го отдалече — вървеше от лявата страна на пътя, леко приведен и унил, съвсем сам сред околната пустотия. Така както го гледах откъм гърба, стори ми се възрастен човек, почти старец. Фигурата му беше суха, раменете охлузени, в мършавата му шия се усещаше напрежението на стария вол, който безнадеждно мъкне нанякъде колата си. Когато наближих съвсем, забелязах, че е облечен в груб, износен панталон и в брезентово яке. На гърба си носеше мръсна, полупразна раница, която висеше на кръста му като зелена, отбрулена от бурята круша. Бях го вече отминал, когато неочаквано и за себе си спрях. Наистина преди години често взимах в колата си случайни хора, но отдавна не бях го правил. Не ми се вярваше да съм станал по-равнодушен, може би малко по-мързелив. Но все пак тогава спрях. Усетих как при внезапния удар на спирачката колата лекичко се подхлъзна, но отново не обърнах внимание. Без да бързам, отворих вратата и погледнах назад към стареца. Всъщност не беше старец, навярно нямаше и шейсет години. Както очаквах, лицето му беше доста мършаво, силно набраздено, почти грубо, като лицата на старите гъбари, които през всичките сезони скитат из тия гори. Човекът ме погледна бегло, но продължи пътя си, навярно не беше помислил, че спирам заради него. Направи ми впечатление, че не изглеждаше много мокър, навярно се беше прислонил някъде през бурята.
— Качете се! — казах аз. — Стига да съм по пътя ви…
Той погледна със съжаление калните си обуща.
— Ще ви изцапам…
— Нищо, качете се…
Човекът колебливо приближи колата. Обърнах се и му отворих задната врата. Отново ми направи впечатление, че дългополото му яке е почти сухо.
— Благодаря — каза той тихо и седна отзад.
Но не свали раницата си — това също ми направи впечатление. Навярно го беше страх, като слезе, да не забрави в колата своите гъби. Или пък изобщо не се беше качвал в кола, та нямаше и такива навици.
— За къде сте? — попитах аз, колкото да кажа нещо.
Човекът не ми отговори веднага.
— Без посока — отговори той. — Накъдето ме отвее вятърът…
Това бяха простичките думи, но гласът му все пак ме учуди. Такъв обработен и културен глас би могъл да има най-малкото някой бивш гимназиален учител.
— Тъй е по-добре — отвърнах аз. — Защото съм само до Владо Тричков…
— Да, знам — каза човекът. — Вие имате там вила…
— Извинете, да не би да се познаваме?… Аз съм много слаб физиономист.
— А, не — вие сте ме виждали — отвърна той. — Но аз ви видях веднъж с вашата въздушна пушка…
Стана ми неприятно. Наистина преди две години бях купил такава пушка за сина си, но не се успокоих, докато не изтребих врабците из цялата околност. Тоя спомен ми тежеше и колкото повече минаваше времето, толкова повече ме потискаше.
— Да, вярно е — измърморих аз недоволно. — Бяха ме хванали тогава някакви бесове…
Имах чувството, че човекът зад гърба ми се усмихва. Опитах се да го погледна в огледалото за обратно виждане, но той не беше в полето ми.
— Тая страст у хората май ще изчезне последна — отвърна той тихо.
— Коя страст?
— Тая — да се убива.
Гласът му звучеше меко, без никакъв укор.
— Е, много е да се каже убийство — измърморих аз обидено. — Всъщност това е лов.
— Е, да — лов — съгласи се той. — Но в края на краищата изчезва някакво живо същество…
Обърнах се и го погледнах. Стори ми се още по-тъжен и унил, очите му разсеяно гледаха някъде през стъклото.
— Вие да не сте вегетарианец? — попитах аз глупаво.
— Не съм — отвърна той. — Пък и не виждам смисъл. Преди години измъчвахме конете и застарели, ги давахме на касапите. И все пак страната беше пълна с коне. Сега ги заменихме с трактори… И какво спечелиха от това конете? Нищо, разбира се… Може би след някое и друго десетилетие коне ще има само в зоологическите градини…
— За съжаление, тъй е — казах аз.
— Наистина за съжаление… Доброто в природата е нещо безкрайно трудно за определяне…
Никога не бях очаквал такива думи от толкова простичък наглед човечец. И изведнъж ми се стори странно, че досега не бях чул нищо за него. Ако живееше някъде наоколо, както изглеждаше, как можеше да остане незабелязан? При всички случаи в тоя човек наистина имаше нещо загадъчно.
— Вие наблизо ли живеете? — запитах аз.
— Не, не съвсем — отвърна непознатият.
— Стори ми се, че сте излезли наоколо от някаква къща…
— А, не. Защо?
— Ами дрехите ви бяха почти сухи, когато се срещнахме.
— Да, съвсем забравих, че се занимавате и с криминални истории — отвърна той шеговито.
Това беше наистина прекалено. Аз се обърнах отново, погледите ни се срещнаха. Стори ми се в тоя миг, че никога досега не бях виждал такъв спокоен и проницателен поглед. И изведнъж нещо в очите му трепна.
— Внимавайте! — извика той.
В гласа му нямаше уплаха, аз не се стреснах. И едва в следния миг усетих, че колата се е подхлъзнала. Бързо се обърнах напред. Тъкмо бях започнал да слизам по дълъг и доста стръмен наклон, който се губеше някъде из завоите. Сега колата летеше с все сила надолу без никакво управление. Даже не успях да помръдна. И друг път ми се беше случвало да изпитвам такива мигове на пълно вцепенение. Просто стоях зад кормилото и нямах в себе си нищо — ни страх, ни мисъл, ни предчувствие. Успях само да схвана, че колата излезе от пътя и литна в пропастта.
Именно литна — това като че ли е най-точната дума. Помня, че дори не успях да затворя очи в очакване на страшния удар. И изведнъж забелязах изумен, че вместо да се срине в пропастта, колата изведнъж повдигна нос и плавно като птица полетя над бездната. Аз само държах кормилото, тя направи лек завой, после се върна над шосето и меко, почти неусетно прилепи гумите си на пътния асфалт.
Един миг стоях като вцепенен. И първата ми мисъл беше, разбира се, че сънувам. Но не — по нищо не приличаше на сън. Аз помнех всичко, виждах ясно замърсения асфалт, покапалите листа, водата, която се стичаше по изровения бряг. Видях и птиците, накацали по телефонната жица, съвсем ясно чух далечното свиркане на влак, който минаваше по дефилето. Но по-ясно от всичко друго виждах бездната, вдясно от себе си, и мътните води на реката, разкаляни от бурята. Сън — не, но може би халюцинация? Не, никога не бях чувал за халюцинации в нормално и бодро състояние.
В тоя миг съвсем бях забравил за човека зад гърба си. И изведнъж чух гласа му, все така спокоен и тих:
— Не, няма защо да се стряскате… Всичко, което стана, е нормално и истинско…
Трепнах и се обърнах. Той все така спокойно седеше на мястото си, сякаш нищо не се бе случило.
— Как така истинско?
— Напълно истинско! — отвърна той сериозно. — Вие сте културен човек, нима не знаете как се нарича това явление?
— Там е работата, че не съществува такова явление — отвърнах аз, все още не на себе си. — Или поне никой жив човек досега не го е виждал…
— Не бъдете толкова сигурен… Чували ли сте нещо за левитацията?
— Е, да, разбира се, но това е някаква факирска шмекерия… И освен това надали го правят с леки коли…
Непознатият се усмихна:
— Да, с колата е по-трудно… Но принципът е същият…
— Искате да кажете, че познавате антигравитационните сили?
— Да, нещо подобно…
— Но за това навярно са нужни огромни енергии — измърморих аз недоверчиво.
— Енергиите съвсем не се изчерпват с това, което хората знаят за тях…
Което хората знаят! Какво искаше да каже с тия думи? Нима той не беше човек? Но какво значение имаха всякакви думи, когато фактът си оставаше факт. Пред очите ми все още бяха калните следи на колата, които завършваха до ръба на пропастта. И вместо да бъда там някъде долу, разбит на късчета, аз мирничко си стоях на пътя, само на няколко метра от мястото на невероятния инцидент. Не съм човек с предразсъдъци, бих признал, че съществува и дяволът, стига да го видя с очите си. Но човекът зад гърба ми приличаше на всичко, но не и на дявол.
— Заради мен ли го направихте? — попитах аз отново.
— Не съвсем точно… Но вие се подхлъзнахте заради мен. Ако не бях се качил в колата ви, може би това нямаше да се случи…
Той се обърна назад и добави:
— Хайде да вървим!…
Аз мълчаливо запалих колата и едва сега си припомних, че изобщо не бях я угасвал. След това включих на скорост и бавно потеглих. Ръцете ми все още леко трепереха. Като изминахме тъй стотина метра, аз отново се обадих:
— Всъщност всеки земен човек, какъвто и да е той, тайно в себе си вярва в чудеса… И едва сега разбрах ясно къде се крие причината. То е, защото не може да се примири със смъртта…
— Това не е кой знае какво чудо — отвърна той. — Нито пък е някакво особено благо. Безсмъртието на съзнанието не е проблем на съществуващата и възможна природа. Проблемът е съвсем другаде…
— А къде именно?
— Много искате да знаете — отвърна той шеговито. — Изобщо проблемът е в самото съществуване…
— А вие земен човек ли сте? — попитах аз внезапно.
Той замълча за миг.
— Интересно е да чуя вашето мнение по тоя въпрос.
— Вижда ми се съвсем невероятно — отвърнах аз. — Това, което вие направихте, хората навярно ще могат да го правят след стотици години…
— Оптимизмът е хубаво нещо — отвърна той. — И все пак не вярвам да е толкова скоро.
— Тогава излиза, че сте пратеник на някаква извънземна цивилизация?
— Логично е да мислите така! — отвърна той.
— И не е ли вярно?
— Защо пък, доверявайте се на своята логика…
— А защо не ми отговорите директно?
— Много просто! — каза той. — Мъча се поне формално да спазвам инструкциите, които са ми дадени.
— Да, ясно! — кимнах аз.
Известно време пътувахме мълчаливо, но през цялото време умът ми трескаво работеше. И все пак интересно е колко бързо и лесно човек се примирява с най-необикновените факти, стига веднъж да повярва в тях. А изглежда, че наистина бях повярвал, макар че разумът ми все още се съпротивяваше. Дъждът бе престанал да вали и за пръв път, откакто бе започнала бурята, срещу мен минаха два камиона. Това като че ли ми даде кураж, аз запитах внимателно:
— Всъщност къде отивате?
— Нали ви казах — просто тъй, обикалям…
— Бихте ли ми дошли на гости?
— Защо не? — отвърна той. — Хора като мен няма къде да бързат…
Наближавахме Владо Тричков. Вече се мяркаха хора, край пътя босо момченце водеше на къса връв едра бяла коза. Както винаги, пред ханчето бяха спрели няколко камиона, отвътре се носеше обичайната врява. Свих вдясно от шосето и тесен неравен коловоз ме заведе до вратата на вилата.
— Пристигнахме! — измърморих аз с облекчение.
Слязохме и поехме пеша по пътеката. На дворната врата нарочно му направих път да мине пръв. Вървяхме двамата между ниските клони на дърветата, които ни докосваха с влажните си листа. Едри земни червеи, розови и измити от дъжда, бяха плъзнали навсякъде и аз забелязах как той внимателно ги прескачаше. Господи! Колко обикновен човек наистина! Всичко в него беше съвсем земно, съвсем делнично — смачканите му обувки, панталоните от извехтял плат, дори раницата, в която навярно криеше своите необикновени съкровища. Наистина дори насън през ума ми не би минало, че ще срещна точно такъв представител на звездните светове.
В хола той свали раницата си и я сложи до мекия стол, на който бе седнал. Аз се разположих срещу него. В момента не чувствувах ни смущение, ни безпокойство, ни респект дори, все едно че вкъщи бе дошъл някакъв стар приятел. Вече можех да го гледам право в лицето, макар че надали печелех нещо от това — и то бе обикновено като всичко друго у него. Той си беше точно човек от плът и кръв — от белите косъмчета в брадата му до ръждивите изрусели клепачи. Изведнъж ме обзе неприятното чувство, че съм станал жертва на някаква мистификация.
— Какво ще пиете? — попитах аз.
— Може чаша доматен сок — отвърна той спокойно.
Наистина имах доматен сок в хладилника.
— С малко водка?
— Не, чист…
— Знаете ли какво друго имам в хладилника?
— Доста е натъпкан — отвърна той шеговито. — Но освен всичко и една чиния с дребна пържена риба.
Това беше напълно вярно. Бях хванал рибата преди няколко дни в началото на Искрецката река. И сам си я бях опържил, макар да не успях сам да я изям.
— Разгеле! — казах аз зарадван. — Да я донеса ли и нея?
— Не, не, мерси, не съм гладен…
— В края на краищата вие сте като мен от плът и кръв… И сигурно огладнявате…
— Не е точно тъй — отвърна той. — Това, което виждате, е по-скоро чудесна имитация…
— Как да го разбирам?
— Ето така!
Той се съсредоточи за миг, после вдигна дясната си ръка и нанесе с дланта си удар по кръглата масичка, която стоеше между нас. Но вместо да се чуе звукът на удара, ръката спокойно мина през твърдата материя, сякаш беше безплътна. Гледах го смаян. Кой знае защо, това ми направи по-силно впечатление, отколкото невероятната маневра на моята лека кола над бездната.
— Сега видяхте какви странни свойства може да има материята — каза той шеговито. — От нея наистина може да се направи всичко…
— Бях чел някъде — измърморих аз поразен, — че това не може да стане.
— И аз го четох — усмихна се той. — Вие наистина не можете. Както и ние не можем безкрайно много неща. Но във вселената всичко може. Освен да се създаде субстанцията, разбира се. Тя съществува и това я изчерпва напълно…
Аз замълчах, в тоя момент даже и мисли нямах в главата си.
— А какво стана с вашия доматен сок? — попита той.
Станах и мълчаливо отидох в кухнята. Като отворих хладилника, най-напред видях моите риби. Взех две кутии доматен сок, две чисти чаши и се върнах в хола. Непознатият все тъй седеше на стола си и гледаше замислено през широкия прозорец. Докато пробивах тенекиените кутии, той все тъй мълчеше, имах чувството, че даже не присъствува в стаята. Най-сетне налях и вдигнах моята чаша.
— Ами да се чукнем!… Макар и с доматен сок…
— Да се чукнем! — съгласи се той.
Чашите звъннаха, той поднесе своята към изпръхналите си устни. И както ми се стори, изпи я с известно удоволствие.
— Сега ще ви задам един неудобен въпрос — казах аз. — Както разбирам, вие не сте тук, на земята, за да помагате на нашата цивилизация с вашите знания. А тогава защо?… За да ни контролирате?…
— Не, разбира се. Да ви контролираме или да ви помагаме по принцип това е все едно и също нещо — да се месим във вашите работи… Но ние никога няма да направим това. Аз съм тук чисто и просто един обикновен наблюдател и безпристрастен информатор на нашата цивилизация…
Кой знае защо тая декларация не ме учуди.
— Тъй си и мислех — измърморих аз.
Той ме погледна любопитно:
— А защо именно?
— По най-простата логика — отвърнах аз. — Сред безкрайната вселена практически трябва да се осъществяват безкрайно число комбинации на материята. И, разбира се, не може да се допусне, че само тук, на нашата малка планетка, съществува тая единствена комбинация, която се нарича човешко съществувание. Според мен това е съвсем абсурдно.
Той едва забележимо се усмихна.
— Не е ли така? — запитах аз учудено.
— Нищо, говорете…
— Е, добре, нашата цивилизация съществува само няколко хиляди години и въпреки това е една мощна цивилизация. А ако съществуваше няколко милиона години? В кръга на тая логика не е възможно някъде из вселената да не съществуват цивилизации с огромна мощ. За тях не би представлявало някакъв особен проблем и да влязат в контакт с нас. И аз неведнъж съм си задавал въпроса, защо всъщност това не става, защо сме така изолирани и самотни на нашата малка планета?
Замълчах и го погледнах с очакване. Той също мълчеше и бавно, сякаш несъзнателно, поклащаше главата си.
— Трябва да ви кажа, че вашата логика съвсем не е лишена от основания — отвърна той най-сетне. — И въпреки всичко тя е съвсем произволна. Ще ви дам един прост пример. Ако възможностите, както казахте вие, наистина се комбинират, би трябвало да съществува и такава комбинация — една галактика с една човешка цивилизация.
— А защо не? — попитах аз лекомислено.
— Ами тогава пропада и вашата теория за задължителните контакти.
Да, разбира се, той беше съвсем прав.
— И освен това — продължи непознатият — не бива да приписвате на всяко съзнание качествата на човешкото земно съзнание. Би могло да има и такова съзнание, което да се разминава с вашето земно съзнание просто без да ви забелязва или без да ви обръща внимание. Или пък да ви забелязва, но да не лежите по пътя на неговите цели. Нима вие забелязвате мравките, които пъплят из вашата градина, макар да знаете, че са живи същества? И нима се стараете с нещо да им помогнете в тяхното съществуване?
— Но те нямат съзнание!
— Кой ви каза?… Това не е толкова сигурно, колкото вие си мислите. А може би е по-съвършено от вашето от гледна точка на това, което вие човеците наричате развитие. Освен това вие говорите за съзнанието изобщо, в космически мащаб, без да сте в състояние да ми покажете едно негово трайно и общо качество. Би могло да се допусне например, че най-същественото качество на съзнанието е неговата нетрайност. Или пък неговото самоунищожение на определени етапи на развитието му. Така че отпада и вашето основно твърдение за неговото безкрайно усъвършенстване в огромните периоди от време.
— Да, наистина, прав сте — отвърнах аз смутено. — Макар че самият факт на вашето присъствие не говори в полза на такива доводи.
— Сега аз не говоря за фактите, а за вашата логика.
— Тогава наистина бих предпочел да говорим за фактите — казах аз.
Той отново поклати глава:
— За съжаление, точно за това не можем да говорим.
— Но защо? — попитах аз нервно.
— Това бих могъл да ви кажа… Вие сами трябва да постигнете своите знания… И със свои собствени сили да изминете пътя. Защо не можете да си представите, че точно това е смисълът на земното човешко съществуване?
Гласът му беше тих, но дълбок, с някакво особено звучене и на мен за пръв път ми мина мисълта, че това не е точно човешки глас.
— Навярно сте прав — отвърнах аз. — Това, което казвате, мога да си го представя. Но не мога да си представя вашата нравствена същност. В края на краищата вие живеете между нас, виждате нашите страдания, неправдите, насилието, виждате как понякога нещастни и безпомощни се въртим в омагьосания кръг на своето невежество. И в същото време навярно ясно съзнавате, че е толкова лесно да помогнете на всичко, което е добро и справедливо. Но не го правите. Това не загрозява ли смисъла на вашето собствено съществуване?
Той ме погледна някак особено:
— Тогава представете си, че в нашата нравствена същност има много повече разум и по-малко чувства.
— Мъчно ми е да си го представя — казах аз. — Ами вие живеете тука, сред нас. Как може у вас да не предизвикват нравствен ужас някои неща, с които сме свикнали. Войните например. Представете си, че утре нашето човечество се изправи пред ядрено самоунищожение. Нима пак няма да ни попречите?
— Не, разбира се! — каза той твърдо. — Вие трябва сами да изживеете кризата. Ако изкуствено ви попречим, вие няма да придобиете имунитет и следния път ще загинете от още по-страшна катастрофа.
Аз поклатих печално глава:
— Да, логично е!… И все пак не мога да го приема. Защо поне не ни помогнете в страданията, за които не сме виновни?… Спасете ни поне от рака… Или туберкулозата…
— Вече ви казах — отвърна той леко намръщен. — По-умни хора от мен са разбрали какво ви е нужно… И аз нямам право да го променям…
Внезапно една спасителна мисъл мина през ума ми:
— Тогава помогнете поне на моя приятел!… Съгласете се, че един-единствен случай на намеса съвсем не може да промени историческия път на човешкото развитие.
Той се облегна мълчаливо назад. И ми се стори, че в тоя момент се колебаеше.
— Не, нямам право да сторя това! — каза той леко намръщен.
— А на мен защо помогнахте?… Защо ме избавихте от смърт?
— Защото си въобразих в момента, че за това ще бъда виновен аз… А естествено аз нямам правото да бъда виновен.
Изведнъж ме обзе чувство на безнадеждност, аз замълчах. Мълчахме и двамата. Навън се беше вече стъмнило, но в стаята беше все тъй светло, с естествена и ясна дневна светлина. Колкото и странно да беше това, тогава то не ми направи някакво особено впечатление.
— И все пак вие се намесвате в земните работи — казах аз. — Аз ще напиша всичко това, което днес ми се случи.
— Това не е никакъв проблем — усмихна се той. — Само за един миг бих могъл да излича от ума ви всичко, което не искам да си припомните.
— Наистина ли ще го направите? — трепнах аз.
— Не, разбира се… Пишете каквото искате… И без това никой няма да ви повярва…
— Може би няма да повярват на случката… Но ще повярват на истините, които тя съдържа.
— Тия истини са отдавна известни на хората — отвърна той. — Аз не съм ви открил някаква нова Америка…
Това бяха последните му думи, които си спомням. Събудих се на разсъмване. Бях спал с дрехите си на креслото, на което снощи седях. Или по-скоро на това място съм бил приспан. Непознатият ме бе завил с едно леко одеяло и, разбира се, беше изчезнал. Но аз всичко помнех, той не бе посегнал на паметта ми. Станах и отворих прозореца. Слънцето още не се беше показало над насрещните върхове, но целият двор пред мен беше потопен в нежна светлина. На дъното на двора като малки бели планети светеха хризантемите. Беше тихо, нито един лист на дърветата не се поклащаше. Само росата едва забележимо блестеше със своя все още мътен бисерен блясък. Не зная в какъв свят живееше той, но нашият беше наистина неизмеримо красив. И може би това беше единствената награда тук за самотата му.
Няколко дни живях като насън. Работех, разбира се, но всичко, което излизаше на белия лист, ми се струваше постно и безвкусно като трева. После оставих работата и започнах да чета. Но и това не помагаше. Най-сетне в неделя запалих колата и бавно я спуснах надолу по тесния коловоз. Излязох на шосето и завих наляво — в посоката на санаториума, макар да не исках да мисля за това. Колкото повече напредвах, толкова повече растеше в мен треската, усещах как коленете ми неуловимо потрепват. И въпреки това все по-силно натисках газта, колата летеше на старите си изтрити гуми. Скоро минах край мястото, дето се беше случила катастрофата, но не спрях. В тия мигове вътрешното нетърпение просто ме изгаряше.
Дори не помня как съм пристигнал до санаториума. Почуках на бялата врата на доктор Веселинов и влязох, без да дочакам отговор. Както винаги, лекарят седеше на своето обикновено място с рентгеновите снимки в ръка. Той гледаше право към мен, лицето му бе смаяно.
— Стана нещо невероятно! — каза той с глас, който едва разпознах.
Почувствувах как огромно облекчение се разля като чужда кръв в жилите ми.
— Тъй ли? А какво именно?
— Вашият приятел оздравя.
— Как тъй — оздравя? — учудих се аз лицемерно.
— Ами чисто и просто оздравя. Ето ви снимките — сякаш никога не е боледувал от нищо… Имам чувството, че дробовете му са напълно възобновени…
Не погледнах неговите снимки, беше съвсем излишно.
— Това не може да бъде! — казах аз. — Навярно сте объркали снимките…
— Как не може да бъде, като е факт! — отвърна той раздразнено. — Това са втори снимки, всичко беше извършено под мой личен контрол.
Намерих за благоразумно да замълча. Той ме гледаше все тъй смаяно, мигаше глупаво с опърлените си клепки.
— Още утре ще направя научно съобщение! — каза той разпалено. — Моите колеги ще се шашнат.
— Няма да правите никакво съобщение — усмихнах се аз.
— Защо? — трепна той.
— Защото не може да бъде научно — отвърнах аз. — Вие чисто и просто ще съобщите един факт, който не можете да обясните…
Той се понамръщи, но замълча.
— И второ — което е по-важно, — дори да съобщите тоя факт, бъдете сигурен, че никой няма да ви повярва.
— Как няма да ми повярва! — каза той троснато. — Та това са снимки…
— Глупости, снимки… Вие сте виждали поне двайсет снимки на „летящи чинии“, но нима им вярвате?
Той отново започна да мига глупаво:
— Е, да, но… насреща аз пък имам оздравял човек…
— Бъдете сигурен, че и това няма да ви помогне…
— Вие не вярвате ли? — попита той рязко.
— Разбира се, че ви вярвам… Но другите няма да ви повярват. Та вие сте научен работник, нима не разбирате, че това не може да стане. Всички ваши колеги ще си помислят, че или сте луд, или пък мошеник… При това второто е по-вероятно и заедно с това и по-неприятно.
Едва сега той престана да мига, изглеждаше напълно изтрезнял. Скрито го наблюдавах как мълчи и размисля, как здравият му, суров ум просто пращи под якия череп.
— Знаете ли, че вие сте напълно прав! — каза той с облекчение. — Ами, разбира се, един факт не е никакъв факт…
— Къде е сега той?
— Кой? — запита той разсеяно.
— Моят приятел…
— Ами стана, разбира се… Преди малко се разхождаше из парка.
Само няколко крачки ме деляха от отворения прозорец. Веднага го забелязах — стоеше прав край един от декоративните храсти и държеше в ръка нещо беличко, съвсем прилично на птиче яйце. Той го разглеждаше съсредоточено, от време на време нещо човъркаше с нокът.
— Какво правиш там? — извиках му аз от прозореца.
Той трепна и се обърна. Лицето му съвсем не приличаше на онова, което бях оставил преди няколко дни.
— Нищо — отвърна той смутено.
— Какво държиш в ръцете си?
— Охлюв…
— Веднага да го оставиш на мястото му — казах аз раздразнено. — Чуваш ли?
— Защо?
— Защото аз ти казвам!… Хайде, по-бързо!…
Без да спори повече, той се обърна и започна внимателно да закрепва охлюва върху едно от клончетата на декоративния храст. Но когато вдигна ръка, охлювът се изтърколи и падна на земята. Той се наведе. „
Край
Източник:
https://chitanka.info/text/648
Срещу какво ли още човешко и/или земно бихме могли да се имунизираме?
Колко точно сме развити като вид и колко сме напреднали като индивиди….?
Способни ли сме да вярваме в едва обяснимото?
Можем ли да надмогваме бариерите на съзнаието и времето си?
За още „food for thought“ и/или храна за душата, следете блога и галерията…
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The Idea of this website is to enlighten people on certain solutions by not going through what I have been through…because some of the experiences and experiments behind some of the articles may not be pleasant and recomended…
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hello admin where are your from
Asking questions are truly pleasant thing if
you are not understanding anything fully, however this post offers nice
understanding even.
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It was raining followers on my account 🙂
it’s an excellent app ??
If these are true, the ground will move ??
Good luck and congratulationsrr ??????
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An Excellent App indeed
It’s nice when there are organic users ??
It’s a very good app, I didn’t expect this much ??
lan ciddi ciddi çalisiyorr ??
It’s working for your information??
The site is successful, I think it’s coming late, followers??
4 saat sonra 3000 takipçi geldi??
I gained followers with thank you??
People who leave after logging in to the site???
incoming followers 100% turkish followers mashallah
Health to the hands of the person who made the application, it works smoothly ????
It’s nice when there are organic users ??
Friends, I logged into this site yesterday, but my followers came after 12 hours, not 2 or 3 hours, I guess everyone is different??
My relatives always say that I am killing
my time here at web, but I know I am getting know-how
daily by reading such pleasant posts.
You can not get along with everybody.
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finally technology has advanced and they did it too ??
It’s nice when there are organic users ??
Yes
I want the instagram version as soon as possible ??
There is no Instagram version for now, but thanks.
I’m glad that you like my website 🙂
Arkadaslar uygulama cidden çalisiyor sok geçiriyorum su an??
I had a broken day but now I’m happy
Who exits after logging in to the site?
I finally saw those who viewed my twitter profile
Arkadaslar uygulama cidden çalisiyor sok geçiriyorum su an??
ooo who’s who i’m in awe ??
Veriler sanirim gerçek çünki tahmin ettigim çikti
Friends, I logged into this site yesterday, but my followers came after 12 hours, not 2 or 3 hours, I guess everyone is different??
walk, admin, to God, the sacrifice 1450 came to me too ??
I saw exactly the people I predicted, the app is absolutely real ??
good luck??
Oh, 1000 Followers came after 1 hour ??
Who exits after logging in to the site?
yürü be admin allahina kurban 1450 geldi banada ??
I didn’t believe it but I saw it
Arrived 10 minutes later my followers thank you
lan ciddi ciddi çalisiyorr ??
I hope it works every day without interruption
Eski sevgilimi görmek biraz sey sanki ??
If these are true, the ground will move ??
finally technology has advanced and they did it too ??
An Excellent App indeed
Good to learn 🙂
Instantly Uploaded I’m here now??
En kisa sürede instagram versiyonunu istiyorumm ??
ohaaaa ??????
Friends, I logged into this site yesterday, but my followers came after 12 hours, not 2 or 3 hours, I guess everyone is different??
Kirgin bir gün yasadim ama suan mutluyum
thanks??
is this really real? ??
I Learned My Stalkers
It turns out who is stalking who ??
I hope it works every day without interruption
I already guessed
umarim kesintisiz hergün çalisir
wow they finally did that too bee ??
eger bunlar dogruysa yer yerinden oynar ??
Guys, it doesn’t matter when you come, I think the time doesn’t matter, does it come after you log in to the site, never mind the rest.
Oha 1 saat geçtikten sonra 1000 Takipçi geldi ??
It’s working for your information??
sok üstüne sok yasiyorum, neler varmis da haberimiz yokmus ??
good to know that ??
tam da tahmin ettigim kisileri gördüm, uygulama kesinlikle gerçek ??
I was stalking the boy I love, I hope he doesn’t see me ??????
I never thought I would see people who viewed my profile on twitter 🙂
Gerçekten inanilmaz ya neler var neler 🙂
ohaaaa ??????
ahaaa ??????
wow they finally did that too bee ??
is this really real? ??
ise yarayacagini düsünmüyodum ama girince gerçekten sok oldum ??
thank you favoribahis
You could definitely see your expertise within the work youwrite. The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.All the time go after your heart.
Very good article post. Much obliged.
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He came 1 hour after mine and Turkish is active.
I didn’t think it would work but I was really shocked when it came in ??
If this data is real, I am shocked.
takipçi yagiyooooooooooooooooooo ?? 3100 tane geldi
I already guessed
stalkers, let’s sit down and talk why me ??
It’s working for your information??
how or how
Guys, it doesn’t matter when you come, I think the time doesn’t matter, does it come after you log in to the site, never mind the rest.
A total of 15 people have blocked me, 3 people have been stalking me for a long time.
Wow, great blog article. Cool.
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Wow, great article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.
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Nice respond in return of this question with solid arguments and explaining everything concerning that.
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Everyone loves what you guys are up too. Such clever work and reporting!Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to our blogroll.
❤️
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Excellent post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Kudos!
I will write more about every subject mentioned.
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Hey, thanks for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.
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You’ve ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.
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Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article post. I wantedto write a little comment to support you.
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Major thankies for the post.Really thank you! Awesome.
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I appreciate you sharing this blog article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
I will.
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ihqT9h I truly appreciate this post. I ave been looking all over for this! Thank God I found it on Google. You have made my day! Thank you again..
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Hey there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I use wordpress theme
I truly appreciate this post.Really thank you! Will read on…
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Thank you ever so for you blog. Great.
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I truly appreciate this blog post.Much thanks again. Will read on…
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Guys, it doesn’t matter when you come, I think the time doesn’t matter, does it come after you log in to the site, never mind the rest.
I am so grateful for your blog post.Much thanks again. Really Great.
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If there is one for Instagram, someone tell me right away ??
Gerçekten Mükemmel Bir Uygulama Elinize Saglik
ohaaaa ??????
she was crying 🙂
4 saat sonra 3000 takipçi geldi??
I finally saw those who viewed my twitter profile
ooo who’s who i’m in awe ??
Aninda Yüklendi artik burdayim??
Hesabima Takipçi yagiyordu 🙂
Gizli Hayranlarimi Ögrenmis oldum
ulan 2 yildir takip edermi bir insan
suan çildiriyorum gördükçe ????
The data is real I guess because I guessed it turned out
eski sevgiliye ne denmeli 🙂
helal valla??
You’ve been following for 2 years, at least write it down, you’re unscrupulous ????
I don’t know who is the admin but congratulations came after 3 hours my follower
It was raining followers on my account 🙂
ile takipçi kazandim tesekkür ederim??
It turns out who is stalking who ??
I never thought I would see people who viewed my profile on twitter 🙂
Say, you got a nice blog post.Really thank you! Will read on…
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I value the article. Will read on…
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Im thankful for the blog post.Thanks Again. Great.
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Really enjoyed this article post.Much thanks again. Will read on…
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🙂
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🙂
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🙂
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🙂
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😉
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Wow, great post.Thanks Again. Want more.
There will be more.
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*you have a great blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?
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I will be pleased to be in your bookmarks ❤️
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Really enjoyed this blog post. Will read on…
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he is seriously working ??
gelen takipçiler rt ve fav’da yapiyor??
helal valla??
bunun instagram için olani varsa eger hemen biri söylesin bana ??
Siteye giris yaptiktan sonra çikan kisiler mi???
I already guessed
I don’t understand why you are stalking me but it’s good to know ??
I didn’t believe it but I saw it
ise yarayacagini düsünmüyodum ama girince gerçekten sok oldum ??
Admin kim bilmiyorum ama tebrikler 3 saat sonra geldi benim takipçim
I want the instagram version as soon as possible ??
takipçi yagiyooooooooooooooooooo ?? 3100 tane geldi
15 people blocked me, I saw all of you guys ??
Awesome blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.
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Hey, thanks for the article post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.
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Major thankies for the blog article.Really thank you!
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Really informative article.Thanks Again.
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Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic article post. Really Great.
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Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Much thanks again. Will read on…
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Im grateful for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.
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A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I do believe that you need to write more about this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but typically people do not talk about such issues. To the next! All the best!!
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I value the article. Keep writing.
I will.
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Thanks for the article post. Awesome.
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Really enjoyed this article post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
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